Monday, March 19, 2012

End of an era

Its the end of an era.

Change isn't always easy, but its inevitable and so we must choose..

Do we want to resist change, dwell on it and wish it wasn't happening?...

Or do we "go with the flow", so to speak. Embrace change and move on?

Its not always easy to embrace change, but I'm learning its a must.

Yesterday was the last bottle of "mommy milk", Hallie will get from me.

Its been 20 awesome months of being able to breast feed her for almost 3 months, gather and give her donor milk, and then to pump my own milk for her, daily.

It is time.

My pump is malfunctioning, I have a little cut on my boob which hurts when I pump, and being that she is 20 months old tomorrow, we feel the time has come.

I think if I was breast feeding, not pumping, I would not stop at this point in time.

However, the pump is much less convenient, loud, and like I said, its being a piece of crap!

I feel like the signs are telling me, its OK to stop now.

I am sad to stop producing "mommy milk" for Hallie Rose.

I think one of the hardest parts is that she is now at an age where she knows the difference between her "mommy milk", and her coconut milk.

She gets SO excited when she sees me start to pump.

She runs over and grabs her bottle as fast as she can, and brings it to me wanting my milk.

She then proceeds to dance around, happily, until I fill up enough to give her a few ounces.

The sounds "mmmmm, mmmmm", are heard coming from her as she drinks it in 2.5 seconds!

She then signs for "more", with the word "mommy" being said after it.

As to ask for "mommy milk".

Point being, she LOVES my milk, as she should.

Its the most natural, sweet, yumminess she could or should want at this age.

So, its a bitter sweet ending to my long journey of induced lactation.

I'm happy to be done with that freaking pump, but I wish I could continue giving Hallie something she loves so much.

I feel very blessed and grateful that God instilled in me, or I manifested, or both.....

the *determination and knowledge*, to give my child such a wonderful gift.

Hallie Rose, Mommy loves you and I would do anything for you! sweet baby girl.