Showing posts with label adoption. Show all posts
Showing posts with label adoption. Show all posts

Monday, March 19, 2012

End of an era

Its the end of an era.

Change isn't always easy, but its inevitable and so we must choose..

Do we want to resist change, dwell on it and wish it wasn't happening?...

Or do we "go with the flow", so to speak. Embrace change and move on?

Its not always easy to embrace change, but I'm learning its a must.

Yesterday was the last bottle of "mommy milk", Hallie will get from me.

Its been 20 awesome months of being able to breast feed her for almost 3 months, gather and give her donor milk, and then to pump my own milk for her, daily.

It is time.

My pump is malfunctioning, I have a little cut on my boob which hurts when I pump, and being that she is 20 months old tomorrow, we feel the time has come.

I think if I was breast feeding, not pumping, I would not stop at this point in time.

However, the pump is much less convenient, loud, and like I said, its being a piece of crap!

I feel like the signs are telling me, its OK to stop now.

I am sad to stop producing "mommy milk" for Hallie Rose.

I think one of the hardest parts is that she is now at an age where she knows the difference between her "mommy milk", and her coconut milk.

She gets SO excited when she sees me start to pump.

She runs over and grabs her bottle as fast as she can, and brings it to me wanting my milk.

She then proceeds to dance around, happily, until I fill up enough to give her a few ounces.

The sounds "mmmmm, mmmmm", are heard coming from her as she drinks it in 2.5 seconds!

She then signs for "more", with the word "mommy" being said after it.

As to ask for "mommy milk".

Point being, she LOVES my milk, as she should.

Its the most natural, sweet, yumminess she could or should want at this age.

So, its a bitter sweet ending to my long journey of induced lactation.

I'm happy to be done with that freaking pump, but I wish I could continue giving Hallie something she loves so much.

I feel very blessed and grateful that God instilled in me, or I manifested, or both.....

the *determination and knowledge*, to give my child such a wonderful gift.

Hallie Rose, Mommy loves you and I would do anything for you!..my sweet baby girl.



Thursday, March 3, 2011

doing what feels right

I believe that to be the best parent I can be to both my kids, I simply do what feels right.

I follow my heart and my gut.

I do not let other opinions, or other ways of parenting dictate the way I parent.

I am earth friendly and health conscious. When making a decision, I always take into consideration my family.

I am not this way because of any reason,  other than it feels natural.

When my 11 year old son was born, I was not near as knowledgeable on a lot of subjects as I am now.

Looking back, I feel I still parented with my instincts.

I was 21 years old at the time, and single..Young yes, but ready to be a Mom. Something I had always wanted to be every since I was a little girl.

My Mom was a very good role model. She loved and parented just the way I wanted to. She had all 5 of her kids at home, unassisted, and my Dad delivered us all.

We were told how much we were loved, and it showed.

The seed had been planted, and I didn't even know it.

When it came time for me to deliver my first born son, I had no idea what I was doing.

I had not watched any birthing videos or talked to any of my friends about their experiences (that I can remember).

My parents were not the happiest about my pregnancy at the time, so I didn't ask alot of questions of them.

I had no plans on breast feeding, or not breast feeding.

My labor and delivery all went well, considering the circumstances.

Hospital birth, epidural, and a healthy baby boy!!

When my beautiful son was born, I immediately felt the need to hold him.

I didn't want the nurses to take him from me right away, as they usually do. My instinct told me to hold him, and try to nurse him.

No one had told me the benefits of breast feeding, I just knew in my heart it was the natural, right thing to do.

So, for the first year of his life, I breast fed him.

I remember friends of mine asking when he was only 5 months old, "when are you going to stop doing that"? My answer was "I don't know, but its working out so well, I'm not going to stop anytime soon"..

It was free, and very convenient.

Looking back, I'm glad I stuck with what I felt was right.

After the birth of my son, I remember making subtle changes in my life.

I stopped drinking pop (actually during pregnancy), and started wearing my seat belt.

I did not want to leave him with anyone else, so I went out and got a job at a gym daycare, where I could take him with me.

I found myself eating healthier, and working out. I was no longer interested in "hanging out" with the same crowd.

Again, these were not things I sat around and thought about, they just kind of happened. I was doing what I thought was best for my little boy. He was the light of my life, and gave me a totally different perspective on what was important.

He made me care more about myself, others around me,  and the world.

With my second child, little Sugar Bear, I feel I am even more of an "instinctual mama".

After trying to conceive for 2 years, my husband and I felt that adoption was what we were meant to do.. (see entry titled "Our adoption story")

As soon as we got on the adoption list, I started thinking about trying to breast feed our baby.

I went to a local LLL breast feeding group meeting, and met lots of like minded women there. I then went to my OB and got on the proper medication to induce lactation. (see blog entry titled "Adoptive breast feeding)

After not hearing anything for a few months from the adoption agency, I felt this tug in my soul, to change our profile from gender specific (wanting a girl only), to non-gender specific.

Just 4 months into our wait, we got the call that we had been selected by a birth mom in New York. They told us she was pregnant with a little boy.

We were over the moon with excitement that we would soon be parents again!

We went out and bought a few boy baby items, and prepared for our trip to NYC.

When the baby was born, to every one's surprise, it was a GIRL!!

Thank God I followed my gut feeling, changing our profile to non-gender specific, or we would not have the baby we do now, considering they thought she was a boy..

Her birth mother breast fed her for 3 days, and then as soon as she became ours, I took over.

She knew exactly what to do, and it felt so normal and natural.

I knew in the back of my mind that there were people in my life who wouldn't agree, or who might think it is weird to breast feed my adopted baby, but all that mattered was,  I knew it is the best thing for her.

Both for the nutrition and the bond.

She is now 7 months old, and has never had a drop of formula.

Unfortunately, after about 2 1/2 months of the breast and bottle, she took to the bottle and wouldn't nurse off me anymore.

I now pump twice a day and get around 6-8 oz each time, and she is also supplemented with donor breast milk, which our freezer is full of.

Milk sharing is another thing some people have no knowledge of, so of course they are going to judge. (see entry titled "Milk Sharing")

I don't care. I know in my heart I am doing what is best for my baby.

She is so happy and healthy, has never been sick and never spits up.

She doesn't have tummy aches either.

We believe this is attributed to my husband and I's belief, that breast milk is the very best thing for her.

Most people in our society, and most Dr's recommend vaccinations.

We do not vaccinate.

We feel in our heart and gut, that we should not put that crap in our child's body. Not to mention we have done tons of research, which only confirms our intuition.

It doesn't matter if the Dr says so, our family says so, or anyone for that matter.

We are not going to do it, because we don't feel it is the right thing to do.

Our kids are told "I love you"  numerous times a day, as it is our belief that you cannot tell them enough. They will never have a doubt in their minds that they are loved, and have 2 people who will always support them in any dream they may have.

We also feel strongly about little Sugar Bear sleeping with us. She feels safer, we feel its safer, and she sleeps better.

We are there for her as soon as she awakes, and we would never leave her to cry. Ever. Not even for 5 minutes.

Don't get me wrong, there are times she is inconsolable, and I might lay her down, and pat her back while she cries, but I will never leave her side.

It just doesn't seem right to leave a little baby to "cry it out", or fall asleep all alone.

I mean, a baby spends 9+ months inside the mother's body, and as soon as it comes out, we are supposed to put her in a crib, by herself, to sleep? That just doesn't seem natural.

Babies want to feel loved and secure at all times. That is next to Mommy and Daddy.

No matter how many people tell us its wrong to co-sleep, or that she needs to learn to self soothe, we will not change how we do it.

My gut instincts and my heart tell me I'm doing all the right things, and I will continue to honor those feelings.

Being a parent is the most important task in the world. It can be very challenging at times, and there is not one "right" answer.

To me, one of the most important things is to follow my heart. Do what I feel is best. Do what feels right.

I will not listen to the opinions of society, I will only listen to my inner voice and the voice of my husband.

That's what being an "INSTINCTUAL PARENT" means.....

I wish more parent's would follow their own gut feeling when raising their kiddos. I truely believe that the world would be a better place.

http://www.facebook.com/InstinctualMamas
http://instinctualmamas.blogspot.com

Wednesday, February 2, 2011

"belly mommy"

Today, I have Jenni (renamed to protect her identity) on my mind. For all of you that dont know who she is, let me introduce you..she is the most selfless person I have ever met. She is Hallie's birthmother.

We could not be more pleased and happy to have such a wonderful person be the biological mother to our child. When we first got the call that we had been picked, all they told us was that it was an African American woman, 31 years of age. Little did we know what an awesome, special person we were about to encounter.

When we arrived at the hospital, Im pretty sure we were all a bit nervous. Here we were, in a New York City Hospital, waiting at the large metal doors for a nurse to let us through. We knew there would be no "buffer" in between us and the birthmom. No social worker, no adoption specialists. Just us, her and the baby. Would we feel comfortable talking to her? Will she like us? What will we talk about? What if she changes her mind?  These were all the questions racing through our minds.

As we walked down the hall to her room, we looked into the baby nursery, wondering which one of the babies could possibly be ours. We couldnt believe the time was actually here. We had waited almost 3 years for this moment!!!(trying to concieve/adoption wait)

As I knocked on the door, I heard a raspy voice say "come in"... "Jenni"? I asked..and there she was..the mother of our soon to be child. She looked great! You would not believe she had just given birth. She smiled at us and we smiled back. She picked up the phone and asked that the baby be brought in. 

O.M.G, we were about to meet our little girl. While we waited for the baby, we asked her how she was feeling, and how the labor/delivery went. She was kind of quiet and reserved, which made it hard to "read" her.  As the baby was rolled in, we couldnt believe our eyes! She was BEAUTIFUL! The most precious, pretty baby I had ever seen!! Jenni picked her up and held her. I waited for her to let me hold her. It was only a couple of minutes before she passed her to me. My baby girl was in my arms. Wow, was this really happening>?? I thought for sure I would be balling at this point, but I wasnt. I think I was in shock, on cloud 9, and just overwhelmed with happiness.


Over the next 2 days, we sat at the foot of her hospital bed, holding the baby and getting to know Jenni. She was a very strong person. Did not show much emotion. We felt like we bonded with her just in the few days we spent with her. She gave us the best gift anyone could ever give. Even after seeing what a perfect baby Hallie Rose was, as hard as it was, she still knew she had to do what was best for the baby. She felt the best thing was for her to have a Mom and Dad who loved her, and could provide a loving stable home for her. 

She loved Hallie Rose so much, she gave her up so that she would have a better life. For that, we are forever grateful. 

We cant wait to teach Hallie what an awesome person her "belly mommy" was. We want Hallie to know how much Jenni loved her, and that because that love was so strong, she gave her to us in the hopes of giving Hallie a better life. We will also tell her what a strong woman her birthmom was, and is.

 One of the hardest parts of the adoption process for both Joe and I was the feelings towards Jenni after the papers were signed. We were so beyond happy that we had our little girl, but we felt so sad for her birthmom. We felt sad that she had to give her up, and felt sad knowing she had to leave the hospital without her. In the days following the hospital discharge, we were very emotional when we would think about or even mention her name. 

We, in a weird, way felt sad for Hallie too. We knew she was in the best place possible, but we felt sad that she was taken away from the only person she ever knew. Her birthmom. She spent 9+ months in this woman's womb, and nursed off of her for 3 days after she was born. There is no way the separation did not effect Hallie. We tried our best to talk to baby Hallie and let her know we understand her feelings and that we know she misses her birthmom, but that we are her parents now, and we are going to love her and take really good care of her. (I will post an article here soon that talks about the trauma a baby experiences when separated from their mom at birth. It can be from adoption, NICU, or lots of other reasons a baby is separated from it's mommy after its born.)

We feel very blessed to have had the experience we did, and to have made such a connection with Hallie's "belly mommy". I dont know if we will ever meet or talk to her again. We have a semi-open adoption which means our agreement is to send pics and a letter to the agency once a year, which we are excited to do! She had told us at first she did not want contact after the baby was born because it would be to hard on her. We completely understood and respected her wants. After giving birth and meeting Hallie, she decided she would like pictures and said she had to admit she is very "curious" as to what she will look like/turn out like. I do know one thing for sure, we  will always have a very special place in our hearts for her.

Fyi..we never got the chance to meet the biological father. He was not a part of the birthmother's life during the pregnancy. All we know is he is fair skinned, with blonde hair and blue eyes. 




Adoptive breastfeeding

This is a topic I have been wanting to write about, and one which Im not shy about.. BREASTFEEDING!! 

Its such an important subject, yet so many people take it so very lightly. I hate it when people act like its no big deal if you dont/cant breast feed or the insinuation that formula is just as good as breast milk...BS!!! Formula is not and never will be as good as breast milk. Period. You cannot replicate nature. I realize it is an adequate substitute, but it is not the same, and definitely not as good for the baby. Why do you think so many babies have digestive problems? Its usually the formula. Its hard on their system. Im not coming down on the women who can't or choose not to breast feed, I feel like if they were better informed, they might not be in that place. Its up to Dr's and nurses to advocate this information since that's who, sadly, the majority of people listen and take advice from.... Anyway, thats my opinion on that.

 Im actually here to talk about my experience with adoptive breastfeeding. Yes, a woman can actually breast feed an adopted child. Its done everyday, all around the world. Unfortunately, not enough women even know about it, so it doesn't get attempted or looked into. Maybe Ill someday change that. I want more women to know the options. 

It goes like this.....when we got on the adoption list in March of 2010, I went to my sister- in- law who had just had a baby at home, and she invited me to the local LLL(breast feeding group) meeting. It was there that I talked with a few women about adoptive breastfeeding, and the want to also give my baby donated breast milk as a supplement, if I wasnt able to produce enough. My husband and I were pretty determined to find a way to not have to give our baby formula. They were all so supportive, and it was really nice to see there were other women who thought just like I did. I was excited and ready to take on this task.

 The next step was to see my OB. He wasnt very knowledgeable on the subject of adoptive breastfeeding, but I had already brought in information which consisted of a protocol advised by Lenore Goldfarb, PH.d, IBCLC, and Dr Jack Newman, a renowned breastfeeding expert. Their website, asklenore.com,  was introduced to me by one of the leaders at LLL. So, in March, I started on the birth control pill, which is supposed to mimick pregnancy. That went well with little to no side effects. When we got the call in July that there was a match with a birthmom in NY, I immediately stopped the birth control pill, and started my Domperidone and my herbs, as instructed in the protocol. I also started pumping. This was all to "trick" my body into thinking I gave birth and that I had a hungry baby wanting to be fed! 

At first, I didnt get anything out. Not even a drop. I was a little stressed, but all along I told myself not to have any expectations. After a few days of pumping, I started getting drops..then we got the call that the baby was going to be born!..We jumped on a plane to NYC, ready to meet our baby. Since I didnt have much time to pump (protocol calls for 1 month to build up milk supply), we took a cooler full of donated breast milk with us. Trying to educate ourselves on how to pack it, and finding a place to stay with a full size freezer is a whole other story in itself. Somehow, someway, everything totally fell into place.


I continued pumping every 3 hours, taking my domperidone, and herbs. We were unsure of how the hospital was going to go, we assumed the baby would get formula for a few days, and then hopefully be able to switch over to breastmilk. Well, Hallie's birthmom graciously decided to breastfeed her for the first 3 days of life, so it made the transition very smooth. She knew exactly what to do when I nursed her for the first time. (in the bathroom of the hospital lobby, while waiting on our car to arrive:) 

I quickly realized once we got her back to our rented NYC apt and settled, that she was not satisfied with what she was getting. So, we pulled out the good ol' SNS. Supplemental Nursing System. Its a device where you put the breast milk in a container, then you attach these 2 small tubes to the breast with a piece of soft tape, and the baby sucks. That way they are still nursing at the breast, but getting more than what the breast can provide. 

It worked great! Joe was such a good helper. He would get it set up every single time, warm the milk, and just do whatever he could...I would nurse Hallie Rose (we joked it was her appetizer), while he got the SNS all set up. We worked as a team. Hallie was doing great and so was I. Jalen was definitely exposed to alot of things(boobs) he had never seen or known about. He did great and has learned alot though.

 We continied with the SNS for each feeding, as I continued pumping milk. I was getting more and more everytime. After a few weeks, we introduced the bottle. We just couldnt go hardly anywhere if we didnt have something more convenient than the SNS. Hallie really took to the bottle, and at around 2 1/2 months of age, she would not nurse anymore:( She would scream if I even tried. She refused even with the SNS. So I let her lead the way, and we now give her breast milk throught the bottle. It is both donated and my own. I pump twice a day and get about 8 oz each time. Im still taking my domperidone and my herbs.  It feels really good to know I am giving my child a gift that she will benefit from for the rest of her life. 

I will continue to pump, and give her donated breast milk. We will probably continue the breast milk past 1 year, considering we have no intentions on giving her cow's milk. With all the antibiotics and hormones pumped into our cow's these days, I would feel horrible feeding that to her. I realize I can buy organic cow's milk, that is free of antibiotics and hormones, but it still doesnt change the fact that she is a human, not a baby cow.  So, I will do what logic and my heart tells me, and give her human milk for as long as we feel necessary. 




                  


Our Adoption Story..(written by Dustin Freund of American Adoptions)

The Perfect Surprise - Joe, Carlie, Jalen and Hallie's Adoption

Joe, Carlie and their 11-year-old son, Jalen, were sleeping soundly in a rented Manhattan apartment until 5:30 a.m. when their phone rang.

Carlie quickly snatched the phone and answered it. Indeed, this was it - this was the phone call they had flown all the way from Kansas to New York City for.

She knew the news would be good, but what she heard was even better. What was said to her were the sweetest, most unexpected words she had ever heard in her life. Right then and there, she was proven something she had always thought to be true: things do happen for a reason.

Building the Foundation

“Pretty much right away, we were kind of a family,” Carlie said, thinking back to when she first started dating Joe back in 2001.

Joe immediately made a connection with Jalen, Carlie’s son from another relationship who was 1 ½ years old when they met.

“I’ve always been kind of a magnet toward kids,” Joe said. “Once we started dating, I really took to Jalen. I think that made us stronger.”

Joe didn’t always see himself as a father until he became more serious with Carlie and continued to bond with Jalen. Joe’s budding relationship with Jalen reminded him of how much he enjoyed being around kids, and how much he actually did want to be a dad. As for Carlie, she was one of five siblings, all brothers, so naturally she hoped to be a mother to several children, with hopefully at least one of them being a daughter. And last but not least, Jalen was becoming antsy – he wanted a sister as well.

The couple became engaged, and once Carlie was about to graduate from nursing school, the two started thinking about adding to their family.

In 2008, their lives were exactly how they had hoped: Joe and Carlie were now happily married, and Joe and Jalen shared an increasingly growing father and son bond. About a year later, Joe would make their father-son relationship official and adopt Jalen.
The only thing that hadn’t gone according to plan was becoming pregnant. Weeks of trying to conceive turned into months. Then before they knew it, a year had passed.

Joe and Carlie sought a fertility specialist, who opted for Carlie to have laprascopic exploratory surgery to see why she was not conceiving. The surgery indicated that Carlie’s tubes were blocked, and their only chance at pregnancy was through in vitro.

In 2009, the couple attempted two in vitro fertilizations, both of which were unsuccessful.

“It was a weird up and down rollercoaster of meds,” Joe said. “I had to give her shots every night. It was really hard on both of us.”

But then after their third attempt at in vitro, their dreams become true: Carlie was finally pregnant.

Joe and Carlie’s emotional high did not last long, however. Over the next several weeks, Carlie’s body didn’t handle the pregnancy well and she became more and more sick. After losing 18 pounds, Carlie had to be hospitalized.

“Never again. Next time, we are adopting,” a weakened Carlie, in tears, would tell her husband.

Sadly, Joe and Carlie’s fears were realized as they suffered a miscarriage.

“Here we were at a fork in the road,” Joe said. “Do we continue putting our emotions and finances on the line to try and have our own baby? Do we find a gestational carrier to help us have a baby? Do we adopt a baby? Or do we come to the conclusion that we are not ever going to have another baby?”

Help From a Neighbor

In February 2010, Joe and Carlie decided it was time to abandon the infertility treatments and look into adoption. Within only a few days of researching adoption agencies on the Internet, they were at American Adoptions’ home offices, which just so happened to be within minutes from their own home in Kansas.

Because American Adoptions works with adoptive families in 47 states, many of them never get to meet the people who facilitate their adoption, other than over the phone. For Joe and Carlie, they were able to meet every Adoption Coordinator, Adoptive Family Specialist and Birth Parent Specialist involved in their adoption.

“They made the whole process so easy,” Joe said. “Any paperwork or any questions, we were there. It was great.”

When completing their Adoption Planning Questionnaire (APQ), Joe and Carlie came across the question of whether or not they were gender specific. Joe and Carlie, having already had a boy and wanting a girl, decided that this would be the only time in their lives where they could choose the gender of their child. Thus, they opted to be gender specific.

Within a month of deciding on adoption, Joe and Carlie were active with American Adoptions.

But the next couple of months were difficult for Carlie. She was not working at the time, and constantly found herself thinking about the adoption. She kept asking herself: “Why aren’t we getting picked?” “Is our adoptive family profile receiving enough exposure?” “Did we make the right decision being gender specific?”

“We hadn’t heard anything in a few months, and I was just probably being a little anxious,” Carlie said. “I thought we should just switch. Whatever is meant to be will be. So after a few days, Joe said let’s go ahead and switch it, and we did. It turned out to be a good idea.”

Just three months later in July, refreshed after a trip to Hawaii, Joe and Carlie received a voice mail from American Adoptions’ Lara Sandusky while they were at the Lake of the Ozarks in Missouri. Joe put his phone on speakerphone for everyone to hear and immediately returned the call.

Among the poor cellphone reception, Lara told Joe and Carlie of a birth mother who lived in New York City, whose hospital was just blocks away from Times Square. She was due to give birth to a baby boy in just five days.

“It was the best news of my life and I could hardly hear it through the static,” Joe said.

However, the message itself was clear: Soon, they would once again become parents.

“I was just in shock,” Carlie said. “I just could not believe this was happening. Our family members were down there and everyone was freaking out. They were so happy for us.”

Joe and Carlie returned home from the lake and immediately began packing for their trip northeast. All of the girl clothes, pink blankets and other accessories Joe and Carlie received while being gender specific were stored away, and newly bought boy clothes and blue blankets were added to their suitcases.

Even though they originally wanted a girl, Joe said there was absolutely no decline in their excitement. Jalen was excited to have a brother too and even helped pick out a few outfits for him. Quite simply, they all could not wait to meet their baby boy.

Little did the family know, however, the real excitement was soon to come while in New York City.

A Welcome Wakeup Call

“IT’S A GIRL!” Carlie’s yell echoed through the Manhattan apartment. “OH MY GOSH, IT’S A GIRL!”

Joe grinned from ear to ear. Carlie cried and jumped out of bed with the phone still in hand and the hospital social worker still on the other end.

“Jalen! Jalen! It’s a girl!

Jalen threw the blankets over his head, disappointed that he bought a couple of boy outfits that he was excited to dress his brother in. His disappointment would not last long, however.

Beyond thrilled to finally meet their baby girl, the family arrived at the hospital that afternoon, just two blocks from Times Square. They went into the birth mother’s hospital room and met her for the first time. Immediately, they absolutely loved her for who she was and what she did for their family. She then called for their baby to be brought in.

And that was it, the first time Joe and Carlie laid eyes on their baby daughter, Hallie Rose.

“She was beyond what I ever expected,” Carlie said. “Joe was balling. I was in disbelief. She was so perfect. I couldn’t believe she was our baby.”

Of course, Jalen was excited too. He finally met the sister he always wanted ever since he was much younger – the boy outfits he picked out were more than an afterthought. In fact, Jalen was one of the main reasons why Hallie would be his sister: The birth mother chose Joe and Carlie partially because Jalen reminded her of her own brother.

Joe, Carlie and Jalen spent the following night site-seeing in New York City, getting ice cream, riding the enormous ferris wheel inside of Toys R Us, all of which would be their last memories as a family of three.

On Friday morning, the papers were signed and Hallie Rose was officially a member of their family. Their journey had culminated and there would be no more uncertainty and no more surprises. Joe and Carlie could finally breathe a sigh of relief.

“Going through the adoption process, you constantly have something in reserve, more excitement, because you aren’t quite sure if it’s real,” Joe said. “You get a little bit more excited each time. You get the call, you are excited; you get the call she is going into labor, you are a little higher; then you are at the hospital and you are more excited; and for us, which was icing on the cake, we got the call that it was a girl. Then you get there and it just keeps going up and up and up, and when the papers are finally signed, it’s just a big, welcomed relief.”

A week later, following ICPC clearances, the new family flew back to Kansas where dresser drawers full of girl clothes awaited Hallie that would not be returning to the stores as previously thought.

Hallie is Home

Throughout everything that happened, including their struggling with infertility, choosing to be gender specific and then changing their minds, Carlie believes to this day that Hallie was always meant to be a part of her and Joe’s family, and those were just the steps required to bring her home.

“We have learned that everything happens for a reason,” Carlie said. “The reason I was having second thoughts about being gender specific was because we wouldn’t have little Hallie Rose had we continued our request for a baby girl, since they originally thought she was a boy. Our advice to parents going through this tough process is to be calm, go about your daily life, pray about what you want to happen, trust your instincts, trust American Adoptions, and know that whatever is supposed to happen is going to happen.

“Knowing what we know now, and finally having our little Hallie Rose, we would have waited a lot longer for her. The road to get where we are now was not easy, but if we made it, anyone can. Our family is now complete.”

Their experience with adoption was so great that they hope to adopt again one day. However, they don’t know how they could ever top this one.

“Hallie is so perfect, I don’t know if this could happen again,” Carlie said. “And maybe every parent feels that way, like they got the perfect child, but we really feel like we did.”





                                              The first pics of us with our Sugar Bear:)